Douchebags on Orchard Street
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This Craigslist advert posted on Friday is cringeworthy to the bone. Hordes of scummy brokers are now pushing harder than ever to transplant fratty douchebags and sorostitutes directly to the Lower East Side. Take a gander:
Are you and your friends looking to continue sharing those amazing college memories together? Looking to get OUT OF MURRAY HILL! You’ll never get back these years. Feast your eyes on this sick elevator bachelor pad right on Orchard. You don’t want this convertible crap, or things that waste your time. 5 real bedrooms. This place feels like a house. $1500/bachelor HUUGGGEEEE Wrap Around Terrace-Throw a party with 100 people.
Throw a party with 100 people and become the bane of the neighborhood. Fellow residents, prepare for the worst.